Monday, January 23, 2017

2016



It took me a while to figure out a way to write this post, because unfortunately, 2016 was filled with pain more than it was with joy to many of us. I honestly did not know how to approach writing this post, since I really am not sure what I learned in 2016. I would say that it was due to all the dreadful situations I went through; my mind had trouble processing and digesting the all the lessons I should have learned. I was more focused on how unfair and unjust it was to be put in these situations to begin with, that my vision to what is important became blurry. Now that it is over, I am finally able to revisit my memories (although most of them are dreary) and filter all these events and pick out what I learned from them. So here are all the lessons, no matter how small and trivial they may be, that I learned in 2016. 

Toxic relationships must be cut out.
Toxic relationships and friendships are extremely dangerous, because the person involved in this relationship, or both are unaware of how draining it is. Both can be in pain, but are too attached for all the wrong reasons. I personally have learned that it isn’t easy to identify what an abusive relationship is and an outer perspective in this situation is very much needed, because when you care so much about the person you are with, you will not be able to see just how destructive it is on yourself. Ask for help, but you have to be the one that makes the call of cutting that person and the entire relationship, out of your life. An outer perspective is great, but your very own perspective is greater, so do not be blindly influenced and take charge of your decision. 

Time mends wounds, not heals them. 
Time, indeed, does lessen the pain, but it does not wash it away. It took me a full year to learn that pushing my wounds down, waiting for time to burry them to nonexistence is not the same as facing them and curing them myself. I cannot deny that it is scary facing your pain at a certain point, however, it has to be done. Once you start sorting your emotions out, you will come to realise that what pains you may not be as hurtful as you thought it was. And that is when it becomes easier for you to let go. 

Being an introvert is not bad. 
For the longest time, I thought that there was something seriously wrong with me for not being able to tolerate being around people. It is not that I do not like being around them, nor hate them. I just simply enjoy my company, sometimes a little too much. I am not the label kind of girl, but calling myself an introvert has freed me from the guilt of not performing the unnecessary social duties. Now, don’t get me wrong; I am perfectly able to socialise, but I kinda like chips and dips and Netflix more. 

Less is more 
I came across some videos on Youtube on minimalism, and I was intrigued about the minimalists’ lifestyle and their thoughts on materialism and consumerism. I have all the respect for the way that they chose to live, so I decided to read about it throughly and try to understand the benefits of being a minimalist. I realised in the process that less is truly more, and I do not mean in the sense of discarding all of your belongings nor boycotting malls. I learned that I, personally, do not have to own things that I do not need. (No shit!) 
 I used to be a maniac when it comes to buying things, especially makeup, now I am fully satisfied with having one eyeshadow palette instead of five and I am proud of myself for that. 

Other lessons learned: 
  • Writing and reading poetry is therapeutic. 
  • White lies save lives. 
  • Mental health is as important as physical health. 
  • Hospitals smell funny are scary. 
  • Lattes are delicious, but black coffee smells and tastes divine. 
  • Dragrace and Drag in general is Art. 
  • Waffles are addictive. 
  • I'm still on the search of finding the yummiest Eggs Benedict in Kuwait. (if you know a place, let me know.) 
  • If it doesn't feel right now, it won't feel right later. 

I hope that 2017 is gentler and nicer not only to myself, but to us all. I believe with all my heart that 2017 is the year of change, rejuvenation and redemption. So, this is me, closing the book once and for all on 2016.