Being bilingual

“To have another language is to possess a second soul.”
-Charlemagne

I attended a conference once about bilingualism and I left the room feeling extremely proud to be bilingual myself. Unfortunately, I am not able to recall everything that was said in the conference, however, I do remember that one of the many benefits of being bilingual is keeping the mind sharp. As a result, speaking two different languages or more can make you a great multitasker. Now that sounds magical, right? Maybe. Let’s get into the other side of being bilingual and it isn’t as magical as it seems.

It began with me the same way it began for most of us. We were taught in school our ABCs and even sang the letters along with our teachers. It was a celebratory song because it meant that our minds were ready to put themselves in division. It meant we were ready to separate ourselves from our mother tongue. It marked the beginning of a creation; the creation of another identity being sculpted and designed to hang side by side with our original self. Being bilingual is truly extraordinary.

My native language is one of the most beautiful languages in the world, if not the most beautiful. It is rich, complex and alluring to both the ears and the heart. One written word can have several pronunciations and different meanings. I am in awe of the Arabic language as much as I am intimidated by it. I was always struggling with my Arabic classes in school and it frustrated me beyond belief. “It’s my mother tongue, I should perfect it”, I would tell myself. I realized that my heart was already taken by another language. Opposing to my frustration to the Arabic language, I found peace in the English language. She was and still is my sanctuary, my protector, my shelter. My passion for English has been planted in me for as long as I can remember, but it

bloomed recently. I listen to English songs, watch English shows, read English books, have conversations in English and even think in English. In that way I subconsciously put my mother tongue in the dark. Doing so made expressing myself a struggle. Though I am perfectly capable of delivering a full thought in English, translating it to those who don’t speak the language is a challenge. I find myself getting nervous, sweaty and sounding like a complete idiot. Given the fact that I am born and raised in an Arabic speaking society, I am expected to speak Arabic. And I don’t do that often, which upsets people for some reason. I would try nonetheless and in return, I get mocked, accused of snobbery and even shamed for having my identity “westernized” and stripped away. These claims are treacherous and they hurt because I am aware of how beautiful and important my language is, but I simply find it easier for me to use English as a communication tool. I have had people coming to my face telling me that I am acting all high and mighty for unintentionally infusing an Arabic sentence with two, or three English words in a conversation.  What they don’t understand is that I am trying. To put it in another way, if Japanese was the language I found myself comfortable using then I would use it. There are no complicated reasons behind why I choose the English language over my native one.

I think most of us can relate to the accusations being thrown at our faces. I personally am finally making peace with the fact that eventually, no matter how much I try to avoid it, I have to be reunited with my mother tongue. I’m actually excited to challenge myself and find the bridge between the two languages so none would be neglected. I want to practice speaking Arabic again and embrace it as I always embraced the English language. I mean, it’s only fair.

Let's talk books

At the beginning of every year I sit and write down the number of books I want to read. The number usually starts off high, somewhere between 40 and 30, then as time pass and books stay on the shelf untouched, I try to be more realistic with myself and reduce the number to something more reasonable.
I read fifteen books in 2017 and I think one of the reasons why I had trouble reading in that specific year was having to read dense novels for my classes before I graduated. Some of them put me in the most awful reading-slump that I am still trying to break away from. However, I won't be going through all the fifteen I read in this post, instead I chose to share with you my favorites.

Lord of The Flies by William Golding

A modern classic that will alter the way you look at humanity. A piece of literary art that stood against time and will continue doing so. Although it was written in the 1950s, it is still relatable in the most unfortunate ways. The book is about British boys who are lost in an uninhabited island. A simple plot, one would think, but is filled with so many layers. Has elements of politics, religion, philosophy, psychology all presented on one plate. It's such a treat to the mind and a challenge to one's morality. What is right? What is wrong? 

Why do I like the book?
I personally enjoy reading books that keep me on the edge and this particular book has thrown me over the edge. I was mesmerized with how the author played with the idea of civilization verses wilderness, nature against mankind and who's to win. Life is a journey that constantly puts our morality into question. Sometimes it is as easy as breathing and sometimes it isn't. Those specific times when your morals are being challenged, you feel the uncertainty and heaviness of it all. Now imagine children, lost, tired put in a situation where morality is neither black or white. It was intriguing to see the process of innocent little kids transform into something that is unimaginable just to survive. And who do we blame? The island, the accident, God or the existence of evil?

 Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom

A non-fiction book about Albom's college professor Morrie who was diagnosed with ALS and their Tuesdays together discussing everything there is to be discussed.

Why do I like the book?
The simplicity of the writing along with the complexity of the situation is merged beautifully in ways I cannot express. It is true, the lessons in the book are a little out there and obvious, but that is the whole point of this book. We often overlook things and neglect the smallest, yet most important parts of our lives. I feel like this book is not necessarily a "wake-up-call" kind of book as much as it is a reminder for us to notice what is already there and appreciate it more.

 Life of Pi by Yann Martel

I am sure you are familiar with the name if not from the novel then definitely from the film. If you have seen the film, then I recommend that you try reading the novel. Although the film was incredible and aesthetically pleasing, I thought that it did not do the novel its justice fully. The movie was simply just the tip of the iceberg. The novel is about a young man who survives a shipwreck on a lifeboat with a tiger. Need I say more?

Why do I like the book?
Original plot; one of a kind. Reading the book took me on an ethereal journey that I did not want to end. It is embodied with the right amount of symbolism; not too much to overwhelm your mind, but just enough to keep you enticed. The words are carefully chosen in a harmonious way. Paragraphs filled with consonance. Chapters filled with new ideas and possibilities that should be explored and questions that should be asked. The protagonist practices not one, but three religions. That itself is intriguing to read. Three clashing religions coexist peacefully inside a human who just wants to love God in any way that he can. And then comes the emergence of the human survival instincts, the giving up and literally going against the tide all with the presence of a merciless tiger. An animal that is designed to end life. A god of death of some sort.


The Tiger and the Acrobat by Susanna Tamaro

A coming-of-age fictional novel that revolves around a young tiger that is far different from her own kind; a tiger that does not conform to the reality of her purpose and chooses to find her own. 

Why do I like the book?
This was the last book I read in 2017 and the perfect book I needed to read before entering a new year. A short read that is delightful. The writing is easy, yet flows like magic. I saw myself in the tiger and I simply loved it. I can't explain why I did, but there are things that I love which are inexplainable and this novel is one of them. 

What books did you enjoy reading most in 2017?